We have regrettably missed many weddings since we have been in Vanuatu, both in France and Australia and other exotic locations around the world. We did make it to two weddings recently though – one in France, and the other one conveniently here in Port Vila.
Both were beautiful and extremely entertaining and - for an Australian unaccustomed to the peculiarities of weddings in either country – at times bewildering.
Ultimately, I have come to the conclusion that Australian weddings are pretty light-on. They are kept simple: one ceremony, one dress and one big party afterwards. Not so in France or Vanuatu, where there are two ceremonies to get through and a party that morphs and rearranges and never ends.
Wedding One
The wedding we went to in France was for two good friends, Francois and Sophie. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, people kept asking if I had been to a wedding in France before and whether I knew what to expect. ‘Um no’, I said. ‘Aa-ha’, was the reply. ‘You must know then that we do not sleep!’
So I was prepared for a long day (I had stuffed a red-bull in my hand bag). It started at 2pm in the afternoon with a civil ceremony at the Town Hall. A civil union is the only marriage the French State recognises, so you need to get married by the mayor. On this Saturday the mayor of the village had four ceremonies to get through. I thought he might find it a bit of a chore, however he seemed to quite enjoy the moment - decked out in his fancy mayor get-up, replete with sashes and gold brocade doodads. For this ceremony Sophie wore a cute 1960s white lace mini wedding dress. We all packed in to town hall and listened to the vows, there was a kiss and clapping and it felt like the real deal.
However it was only the starter.
After a couple of hours of hanging around we all rolled up to the church at 5pm – an adorably quaint old French church in an adorably quaint old French village. The ceremony was pretty much the one I’m familiar with from Australia, except it was all in French and, as is the done thing in France, the bridesmaids weren’t wearing matching outfits (how great!). Sophie’s dress for THIS ceremony was a stunning full length Frenchy silk thing. After the church ceremony we mosey-ed on around the corner to a castle (hey it’s France!) where we sipped on cocktails and nibbled canapés and listed to a jazz trio. In France, weddings are always followed by this cocktail, to which you invite a more extended circle of friends and family. There were 400 people at this one. The bouquet was thrown, an ambulance arrived to revive Sophie’s grandma who had collapsed with the excitement of it all, and we all got quite drunk.
At about 10 o’clock, the chosen ones were discretely herded on to the reception hall down the road. Yippee! I thought. Dinner! But no, more cocktails and canapés – another two hours worth! At midnight, the crowd (around 200) were invited inside where we all collapsed into our seats and gobbled up the mise en bouche thingy followed by a goats cheese salad entree, a smattering of speeches, a steak main course (no alternate drops – eat what you are given!), lots and lots of red wine, mingling and a bit of dancing, and then a dessert and coffee, served at about 2.30 am. Goodness! We all hit the dance floor and didn’t leave it until the sun came up at around 7am and we toddled home to bed. Only to wake up 3 hours later for the post-wedding lunch where there was mountains of food and more champagne....
Ooh la la.
Wedding Two.
The second wedding was in Port Vila, for our friends Rosemary Leona and Matthew Spriggs. Rosemary is the daughter of the chief of the village where I did my volunteer stint in Vanuatu many years ago. Matthew is a UK-born archaeologist from ANU who met Rosemary when he was digging stuff up in her dad’s village. Once again the knot was elaborately tied with a church ceremony in Vila followed by a reception, followed by a custom ceremony back in the village followed by a week of more celebrations. The church and custom ceremonies were a week apart. Unable to make it back to the village, we settled for the church ceremony in Vila. It didn’t disappoint. Matthew got snazzied up in his tribal kilt from Cornwell while Rosemary went for the traditional white dress. The bridesmaids matched. Rosemary’s dad, Chief Richard, walked her down the aisle as fast as his poor old crippled feet would take him. It was Rosemary’s second wedding and most of her siblings have been married twice, so the running joke at the wedding was that Chief Richard’s feet were worn out from walking his kids down the aisle.
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The church ceremony was presided over (is that what priest’s do?) by a gruff old priest who managed to make the marriage vows sound very fiery and dramatic.
After the church we got a bit of a taste of the custom or ‘kastom’ side of things by way of a mat ceremony. In Pentecost, Rosemary’s island, the currency is woven red mats. A big red woven mat is as good as a fistful of vatu (Vanuatu money) – better even! People still pay their school fees with them and buy all sorts of things – including spouses! In Pentecost to make anything official, you need to stand under one of these mats while someone solemnly walks around you 5 times, then you pass the mat to them. Romain went through it during his adoption ceremony in Pentecost last year and he was worth about 3 mats to his family. Both Rosemary and Matthew went through this ritual about 8 times each.
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Once all the mat exchanging was done and dusted, we jumped in our trucks and drove to the reception – big tents set up on a spare block of land with amazing harbour views. There was lots and lots and lots of kava for those who were keen and then a massive buffet with roast pigs a plenty. Once we were all loosened up with a bit of red wine, Reynold pulled out his synthesiser and got the party moving. We all danced the night away to Stevie Wonder and Celine Dion classics. Classic!
Our good friends FX and Caroline are getting married in France next weekend and Romain was able to make the trek back to be there (he is the best man afterall!). I’m stuck on the rock and will have to live vicariously through photos...
Ah well, dems the breaks!





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